The past 2 weeks have been busy, tough, and at times I’ve felt like a failure. An unhealthy level of conflict has been rearing its head within me and between my several responsibilities. Family, work, home, church, hobbies, and all the other things I do compete for my time and attention. The key to being successful in all areas is to keep a healthy amount of energy towards each one. If any receive too much then it takes some away from the others. Most people will tell you to find a balance. I do not believe a balance is something I want.

If my time, energy and attention were balanced between all of these then there would be no level of importance. Everything would get equal amounts of me. That, frankly, isn’t going to happen. I cannot maintain healthy relationships at home or at work when I am worried about making sure each one gets the same amount of time or energy. And if I get those equal, then I have to figure out how to divide the time to church, my friends, neighbors, hobbies, etc. It is exhausting to me to even think about, let alone accomplish such a task.

Rather than a balance, I seek peace between all the areas of my life. Peace, in a straight definition, means the absence of conflict. My goal in achieving peace means that there will be an imbalance. My work may receive more of my time than I desire (especially right now due to the current projects I am working on) but I am able to maintain peace at home and with other fronts. As the level of conflict has risen in the past two weeks, I have had to reevaluate and shift some energy and expectations to maintain peace. I may look terribly off balance to some, but my ability to maintain this imbalance means I can be successful in different areas.

I mentioned the past 2 weeks have been rough, but I’ve come through this weekend with a renewed peace. Conflict isn’t usually pretty but battling through is the only way to get to the other side. Hiding or ignoring conflict only allows it to brew and become stronger. If you have conflict in your life now then I encourage you to hit it with whatever you’ve got and battle it out. You will come out better on the other side if you do it right.

Here are a few things I’ve done over the past 2 weeks to help me lower the conflict and allow me to manage peace. Maybe you can use the same tactics or modify them to fit your specific needs.

  1. I’ve renewed my focus on the most important relationships in my life. Spending quality time in conversation with God, my wife, my boys, my parents and extended family, and others is the first place to go resolve conflict.
  2. Remove distractions. Distractions can come from anywhere. For me recently, this has meant removing Facebook and social media from my phone, and not checking/replying to email on a constant basis. The steady inflow of messages and information wrecks havoc on focus. I haven’t missed any big news and find myself being more engaged with the people I’m with!
  3. Getting rest. Going to bed at a decent hour is hard. I’ve been turning off my laptop and shutting down the phone at 10:30 every night and trying to be in bed at 11. Not only does this give me time to wind down but the deadline means I am more focused to get the tasks done quickly.
  4. Exercise. This one can be simple; like wearing a FitBit to track steps and make sure I’m moving enough during the day. Sometimes it means a full-blown workout. The benefits of exercise and being active are huge, from weight loss to stress reduction to more creativity. Exercise helps in almost all areas of your life.
  5. Set expectations and deadlines. I have to do this internally as much as externally with my family and coworkers. I know this season of my job is busy and stressful. When I discuss that with my wife and she knows about it, and knows the end of project, then it is much easier to avoid or resolve conflict. At work, I told my colleagues that I am not on email all the time. If they need something urgently, they know to text or call me rather than an email. Setting expectations means everyone is on the same page and we can avoid the conflict before it happens.

 

I pray your life is not filled with conflict, and when it occurs you can resolve it quickly and honorably. Leave me a comment below on your best tips for maintaining peace and a proper imbalance in your life.

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